Take Control of the Path

Ever have one of those moments when you really hate to bother someone with a request or even a simple question?  I am not talking about someone you live with or a really close friend. I am talking about a person that might be considered a passing acquaintance.  If not, then I truly envy you because I really hate to bother someone with such an inane thing that will likely only benefit me.  It is difficult to explain beyond that, but I am going to try.

So, as I have mentioned before, I am terribly empathic.  I can literally sense the emotions when they are high.  In situations where you must deny a request or disappoint someone with a ‘no,’ I not only feel my own emotions, but I pull in the vibes the other person.  It is almost like I have to experience the rejections from this view point while being the one that voices the denial.  Believe me; it has made for a difficult time while dealing with other people.  Interpersonal skills are often some of my hardest to improve, but I have learned to take the piece of the experiences in order to just make myself better.

To learn to handle all this, I had to learn to block some of the vibes or emotions so that I would not just break down and weep all day. With some study to focus the mind, I turned some of my natural skill to refine the empathy.  It was never an easy matter, but in time, I gained some control over it.   It was like I had some super power that needed to be corralled in those wild times.  Soon, it became second nature to shut out the emotions.

However, over time as the skill to block was a habit that I absently practiced, my block was more than just shutting out those emotions that I needed to avoid, but the skill calcified my empathy to blind me to others.  My senses had been clogged with all the opinions and theories of the world that I lost some of my compassion and understanding of my fellow human beings.

I mentioned this before, but I am clearing out all this clutter and searching for what I am rather than what I should be.  I may be the master of my own destiny, but I need to lighten the load on the vessel.   

This leads me to the point of making a simple request to another.  The difficulty lies in the emotions within.  If I am going to make it in this world as a productive member of our society, I need to get past this little mental and emotional obstacle.  

The discovery of the problems that lie within can be inspirational and cathartic in a way that can shock the system.  For instance, it was during the last few months of self-reflection that I came to realize that my part is a piece of something greater.  I do have something to contribute to the world and I need to share it.  

So I need to ask a small request of everyone that comes across this.  Would you please look inside yourself and seek the ways to understanding not only your own quirks and habits, but those of others?  If we all just took a little moment for this, we would all benefit from it and reach our potential.  

crudus animus

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About I Write Irate

For me, this is a personal exploration into a part of me that has been silent for years. It is an opinion. It is an expression. It is who I am. The revelations will come and the patient reader will enjoy the craft displayed. I offer a challenge: Read this and you will come to understand a voice that speaks to the heart of the issue. It can reveal a compassion that some have left behind. Enjoy.

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