Tag Archive | confidence

Trying Out The New Recipe

The last few days have left me time to think and consider the options for the future. Much to my surprise, I have recently found my way into a new job. After nine months of job searching, I stumbled into this one as a friend recommended it to me and I quickly earn the position in the initial interview. The point that captured the job had nothing to do with my work experience beyond my ability to represent a viewpoint to the public. It was my strength of character, and possibly, it was my charisma.

A bit of charisma can go a long way with some people?  It is a trait that I have never truly considered to be part of my strengths. I have a long-winded way of explaining matters or positions as my blog is evident of, but it would seem that the years have helped me shape this into a quality of charisma. I have always idolized those with great poise and charisma. The true sign of confidence rises to the top and appears as arrogance at times. I am impressed by those that enjoy this natural quality.

Most of the time, I present a confident manner. If it is a matter that my beliefs are settled in, I will quickly come to the front of the argument or stance with a very strong case. If it is a matter where my opinion is well-defined, I have the fortress ready to defend with topical quips and fact-based evidence.  I have no doubt to hide from, so I speak my mind to the point of stubbornness. It often has to be tempered by my spouse.

That said I have had other times when I am not so confident in my stance or opinion, so I have to contemplate the information. Or I have no opinion on the matter. For some, I have noticed that they will use their charisma to inspire an answer from others or place themselves in the middle of the topic with a leaning to the proper side.  I like to emulate this quality when I can and dream about the time when I can do it more often than not.

So, it brings me to my thoughts about the new avenue that this job brings before me. I am like most people when it comes to the new, unknown path. It is exciting to explore and present a new aspect of your personality. These new people have a chance to see what most may never have a chance to see. These new people have must to teach you. I have so much to learn, and it has a great potential.

As we travel down the road, I can say that life is never a guarantee. Success or failure may come, but it is the pieces of the overall picture that matter the most. My year has been marked by a long drought of employment and a chance to recover myself from the cynicism of the workplace. Although I don’t think that I have burned it all away, I have found that I am able to use what I learned. I have broken down and taken my mind apart to the base parts and reconstructed what I believe can become a viable piece for the future.

I am eager to see what happens with the new engine in the car.  I believe that anyone can find their way out from dark times.  It takes a bit of charisma and a lot of support from those around you that really care. I include those that follow this blog in that sentiment.

crudus animus


Take That, You Bully!

Each of us has a different mindset for the world.  It is built around the events and experiences with some quirks that are innate to the core of our unconscious mind.  We can have an aggressive side and a passive side, for example.  In this instance, the bully or victim comes out.  The bully takes the struggle to a level where they can rule over others through superior knowledge or confidence.  The victim gives control to the ruler of the situation and the choices are left to submit or fight to gain some kind of advantage.  Yet, we are capable of having different areas were we excel and become the aggressor while possessing the passive side in areas that we are less adept.

It is not terrible to be in either place.  It is necessary to let those capable handle their expertise.  A fine example is that I am quite skilled with handling my children when another parent might not handle my children.  I also depend on the police and military to protect society because I am not very skilled in this area.  It is a give and take.

So, that brings me to the point of this.  When you are stepping into an arena of conflict or debate, you must have confidence in the answer to a question.  If you are not confident in this, the debate is already over.  A boxer wins or loses in the first moments of the fight based on the ability to possess the confidence to win.  It is also something that must be held throughout the contest.  The same comes when you enter an argument or debate with someone.  Without confidence in your thoughts, you should step out quickly or you will lose before it starts.

The clash of confidence can be very exciting to the spectators as the test of wills centers the contest.  There is no doubt that this kind of entertainment kept the great speakers of the Greeks and Romans busy for years.  Cicero often used his speeches to defend a simple point or totally eviscerate an opponent.  Great conspiracies against the Senate and People of Rome were defeated on the tip of Cicero’s mighty spear of words.  Of course, if you read Cicero’s speeches, you know that he was completely confident that he is right.  He was right about everything including Mark Antony.

Pericles stepped forward to give his speech about the foolishness of sending an army out to meet the Spartans.  It was a great funeral oration that was recorded by a historian Thucydides that pieced together the speech at a later date.  Pericles was very confident and quite correct in the foolish act.  He spoke that his words should have been heeded and the army should have stayed in the walled city of Athens.  Instead, they marched to their slaughter for no gain.  He spoke that staying in the damn city would have best for all.  The Spartans would not win while they were outside of the city.  Of course, staying in the city caused diseases that overwhelmed the population including Pericles and surrender was finally offered.  But at least he was confident in his speech about fighting the Spartans.

It is tongue-in-cheek, but the confidence of the brave and wise can hold through the fights until another finds your weakness.  If that happens, either sit down or prepare for a long struggle.  The value of the confidence is clear, but you must always remember that something out there is bigger.  Be prepared.

At times, you can be the bully.  Other times, you can be the victim.  In the end, it is the idea of being true to your principles that matters.  Do not step away from those principles and you will find some content with your actions.

I have entered this arena of debate and discussion with the confidence that I can support my ideas, theories, and thoughts.  My blog is just that.  It is mix of conditioning that confidence while test the resolve of others.  So far, I have encountered a few worthy opponents that I would call friend after we are done.  Thanks for conversation.

crudus animus

A Beast Within

It is late and the day is nearly over.  I have experienced a wide range of emotional and rational thoughts.  I have opened my mind over the last few months with the loss of something that I had believed to be a road to greater things.  It was not, but I have not let it crush me.  Thus far in my writing of this blog, I have given myself over to a part of my mind that has rarely had a chance to speak.  It is my opinion that I hold dear.  It keeps me true with integrity and dignity.  I refuse to let something just change my course because it is rough and I need to find the easier path.  Life is not meant to be an easy path.  

In each of us, there lies a sleeping beast.  If we press ourselves beyond the comfort zone, we wake it.  Recently, I have awakened this beast.  It is ready to roam free and break down the walls.  

Let me pose it to you this way.  As a child, you are given certain boundaries to protect your frail form from breaking or making such a mistake that it costs you your life.  These boundaries are also the means to which our parents guide us.  We form a strong bond with our parents and we want to obey so we remain safe.  It is a wonderful state to remain in.  Some will cling to it for a very long time.  Some will break free of it far too soon.  It is not one of these that I write about personally.  

For me, it was something different.  I am quite empathetic and it was instilled in me long ago that pain which I caused in others, I would feel.  It continues.  So I battle with the empathy to find balance rather than be overruled by it.  Its hold on my conscious thought has been too strong for most of my life.  I sought to find a way as a teenager to avoid hurting others, but it usually ended with more pain than I can truly handle.  Friends were lost along the way.

So, my solution was to cut it out of my life completely.  As I became an adult, I learned that this solution was not achieving a sense of peace, because I was so far lost in it and the pain that I had caused.  Then it all changed with one person.  Of course, this was just the first step to where I am now with the awakened spirit in me now.

What I am experiencing now with this new epiphany of my life can be traced back to this first step.  Luckily for me, even after all my pushing away; it did not stop this other one in my life.  Soon, the steps were slowly taken to fix my problems, but it was never alone.  Now, I feel the weight of all those burdens that I was carrying stubbornly alone simply lighter.  I have learned to even out the burdens and released this beast.

In simpler terms, I have come to realize that even though I was living a life with my spouse, I never opened my eyes to the fact that inspiration in my world is within that bond.  It was the courage and dedication that gave me the power to balance out the empathy.  A touch of that love and support can open the mind to a whole new world.

We each have our methods of dealing with the world around us and each of us has the power to delve down into the depths of our souls to find the solutions.  I have found mine.  Everyday, I pray that it will never end.

How does all of this fit into the theme that I have here?  That is exactly why I can confidently express my opinion to the world that wishes to take time to read it.  I don’t expect it to become a success or gather a crowd of followers.  I just expect it to be what it is…my opinion.

In the end, I will be proud of it and the world can take or leave it.  So, this brings me to a question: Have you ever had one of those reoccurring dreams that might be the manifestation of something like the openness similar to what I wrote about?  I am starting to wonder if I have tapped into something new.  I hope so.

crudus animus

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